| | Subject: | Okay. | | Time: | 05:24 pm |
|
| So, here we go again.
I uh... am too short to put the glazes back on the shelf in the ceramics room, i spilled wax on myself today, it looked like.... whats that word.... man juice.
Angry Music And: they should inject baby girls with anti-stink
afi5914: yea
afi5914: tahtd be pretty pwn
afi5914: like
afi5914: if they smelled like
afi5914: oranges you know
afi5914: i nice citrus smell
Angry Music And: haha
afi5914: more people would be willing to give head if vagina smelled and tasted like oranges
afi5914: i would
Angry Music And: and guys could get injections to make their man juice taste better
afi5914: yea like
afi5914: chocolate
afi5914: or
afi5914: vanilla
afi5914: there should be a choice you know
Angry Music And: what if the chick hated chocolate
Angry Music And: they should get like kiwi flavoured cum
afi5914: thats why i said there should be a choice
afi5914: like
afi5914: when kids are like
afi5914: 5
afi5914: when they know what they like
afi5914: but thatd be gross
Angry Music And: they would all say macaroni!!
afi5914: thered be alot of kids tasting their own cum
Angry Music And: that would be icky
Angry Music And: mmmm macaroni vagina
afi5914: nah
afi5914: id prefer oranges
afi5914: just as long as it wasnt citric acid in the vaginal juices
afi5914: cos if it got on youre eye somehow
afi5914: it would burn
Angry Music And: when i was little my favorite food was broccoli, what smells worse vagina or broccoli
afi5914: vagina
afi5914: but id rather taste broccoli than vagina
Angry Music And: me too
Angry Music And: the taste of your cum would say a lot about who you were
Angry Music And: like some people might get fish flavored. and that would mean they value tradition
Angry Music And: and chocolate flavoured cum would get boring after a while
afi5914: yea
afi5914: it could change according to what they ate a lot
Angry Music And: youre in a bar, 'what flavor is your cum, if its chocolate you might as well leave now."
afi5914: you fat and stuff
afi5914: yea
afi5914: fart*
afi5914: and like
afi5914: say if you ate a burrito
afi5914: youd find a mexican woman for the night
Angry Music And: wtf
afi5914: or fired chicken for black folk
afi5914: you know
Angry Music And: my vagina would be carrot flavored
Angry Music And: i eat a lot of carrot
afi5914: mine would be raisin bran flavored
Angry Music And: ewww
afi5914: or
afi5914: damn
Angry Music And: what if your cum was someone elses cum flavored?
Angry Music And: its like, hunny wtf why does your cum have a hint of strawberry, i thought you were allergic?
afi5914: yea
afi5914: liek
afi5914: if you cheat on your woman
afi5914: it tastes different
Angry Music And: buscuit flavoured vagina
Angry Music And: romantic restaurants would make meals that would taste good as cum
afi5914: yea
afi5914: alot of peopel would eat healthier
afi5914: because
afi5914: no one wants grease flavored cum
Angry Music And: "dude i totally ate out this chick last night and she tasted like french fries it was fucking nasty"
afi5914: yea
afi5914: id leave right then
afi5914: aint putting my broccili penis in no grease | comments: Leave a comment   |
| | Time: | 09:09 pm | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/roshi/palefaces/nerdy.gif) nerdy |
|
| Well, I've been drawing a bit today, haven't done that in a while.
And this brought me to a self realization:
Total Redundancy: ha
BicipitalBeast: god i hope if we have a boychild he isnt half like you horny-wise
Total Redundancy: yeah i hope so too
Total Redundancy: but oh well
Total Redundancy: i thought you didnt want to have kids?
BicipitalBeast: i remembered i dont like the rest of the world and i may as well contribute to overpopulation just so it sucks for them until we colonize other planets or theres a massive plague
I realized that I don't really hate everyone, infact...
you know what, screw this here is a funny conversation I had with liam, that also includes my self realization.
BicipitalBeast says:
mooo
I Am Ten Ninjas says:
Bark
BicipitalBeast says:
man
BicipitalBeast says:
do you ever come to self realizations because of the dumbest things?
I Am Ten Ninjas says:
Sometimes, but this sounds like a good story. Do go on.
BicipitalBeast says:
oh its not really a good story but i dunno i dont really hate everyone, i really care about the rights of all humans until they abuse them, however living in the US simply surrounds me in hatred, so I think I hate everyone when in reality I just hate the culture i exist in
I Am Ten Ninjas says:
Wow.
BicipitalBeast says:
I like how i capitalized half of those Is
I Am Ten Ninjas says:
Heh, yeah.
BicipitalBeast says:
oh noes, I'm capitalizizing on Is
BicipitalBeast says:
i like how i put an extra syllable in that
I Am Ten Ninjas says:
XD
I Am Ten Ninjas says:
I didn't notice that.
BicipitalBeast says:
My capitalizing on Is has allowed me to introduce new syllables into words
I Am Ten Ninjas says:
Wow.
I Am Ten Ninjas says:
That's a breakthrough in your sentence composition.
BicipitalBeast says:
Bad news for grammar, good news for my letters storage
BicipitalBeast says:
I can write more with less grammar!
I Am Ten Ninjas says:
Cool!
BicipitalBeast says:
Is the deterioration of quality marked by the increase of quantity?
I Am Ten Ninjas says:
Um.
I Am Ten Ninjas says:
Yes.
BicipitalBeast says:
I think it depends, some mass produced things, for example the CD, could not be better if they were hand made.
BicipitalBeast says:
i could not personally hand craft a CD
I Am Ten Ninjas says:
Yeah. Nobody could.
BicipitalBeast says:
nor do I think there is such an artisan skilled in the hand crafting of Cds
BicipitalBeast says:
I feel eloquent.
I Am Ten Ninjas says:
You are.
BicipitalBeast says:
Notice the grammar, I'm defying the previously predicted outcome of my capitalizing on Is
I Am Ten Ninjas says:
Odd.
BicipitalBeast says:
IF I CAPITALIZE ON ALL LETTERS I COULD BE A WRITER SOME DAY!!
BicipitalBeast says:
EXCEPT NOBODY WILL READ MY WORKS...
BicipitalBeast says:
Is it worth it?
I Am Ten Ninjas says:
YOU SOUND PROFESSIONAL, TABATHA.
I Am Ten Ninjas says:
Prolly not.
BicipitalBeast says:
Damnit.
BicipitalBeast says:
Maybe if I only capitalize on the alphabet in secret.
I Am Ten Ninjas says:
There you go.
BicipitalBeast says:
I may even get into lowercase letters labor.
BicipitalBeast says:
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I Am Ten Ninjas says:
That was some good alliteration there.
BicipitalBeast says:
That's certainly pushing it for you, a, here is your bread crust for the day.
BicipitalBeast says:
a: (yay)
I Am Ten Ninjas says:
I'm rather befuddled.
BicipitalBeast says:
I often make puddles.
Look at that, Liam and i wrote a couplet. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | Pink floyd, Echoes | | Time: | 02:29 pm | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/roshi/palefaces/sad.gif) jealous |
|
| Well, I'm back on.
If anyone wants to trade sex for an essay, leave a message.
That offer works vice-versa aswell.
Of course, I don't know how to sex, so.. eh... nevermind.
Besides, I have an STD. | | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment |
| The BicipitalBeast
The BicipitalBeast, not to be confused with the BewilderBeast, is a beast, like the BewilderBeast, only it is Bicipital. One of its heads large and the other larger- whilst the BewilderBeast has only one head, the size undeterminable as the BewilderBeast has no neck. But this story has nothing to do with the BewilderBeast.
The BicipitalBeast was hacked out of the oversized mucus membrane of Tabatha, upon her contraction of an abnormal cold from Gabriel, killer of small children. He started out as a microorganism, but grew quickly into a pig sized infant- in about 12 seconds. From there, he was cared for by Tabatha- rarely venturing out of her sight, and often being her mode of transportation. But a two-headed beast is not entirely acceptable by society, and eventually the government wanted to conduct studies on both Tabatha and the BicipitalBeast. Tabatha fled with the BicipitalBeast to Norway, where having a BicipitalBeast is okay with the locals and the government. Unfortunately there aren’t many jobs available in Norway for children and their beasts, so Tabatha sent for beast support from Gabriel. Gabriel had no trouble sending money to Tabatha and the BicipitalBeast and came to visit often, although he could not move down to Norway, as his job did not permit. Despite loving parents, there came a time when the BicipitalBeast had to say his goodbyes. He was determined to study colds and meet other beasts, possibly one day start a family, and make beasts an acceptable part of society in America and all throughout the world.
When the BicipitalBeast arrived in America, angry boatmen distressed by the large beast on the dock greeted him. The boatmen threw water on him and hit his smaller head. The BicipitalBeast had never seen such violence before and jumped into the ocean in an attempt to escape. Sadly the BicipitalBeast was not really built for water and did not know how to swim and swallowed quite a few mouthfuls of salt water before he was swept onto shore.
Now, the BicipitalBeast is a very hygienic beast and when he was washed ashore he was soaked and covered in salty sand, seaweed and garbage- this made the BicipitalBeast very disgruntled. He realized that there was nothing he could do to change himself to fit in, and no matter how wonderful he truly was nobody would ever see that, because he was himself, a beast, a BicipitalBeast. We people, when we realize how flawed we are we get frustrated, and since we are people our frustration burns quickly, but beasts are large and this particular beast had never experienced any sort of aggravation like this before. At first he cried and tried to hide himself, this being very futile because of his tremendous size. He realized how pathetic he was being and his sorrow turned to rage, he realized he was a beast and his parents loved him and he loved himself and it didn’t matter what anybody else thought, he was a beast, and beasts are bigger and stronger than people.
The BicipitalBeast had always hated violence, but he hated the way things were worse, and he knew the only way to get your point across is to write it in blood. Why should he be kind if he had been greeted in such an awful way? For a second he thought he would be the better and walk away, but the passive are never heard. The BicipitalBeast had very dull horns and his teeth weren’t too impressive either, but he was on a mission, a mission to make man regret his denseness, so he charged out onto the highway.
He hesitated as he reached the traffic, cars whirring past at incredible speeds, but looking down he remembered how large he was and rammed head first into the side of an SUV. It heaved a metal sigh and toppled over onto a sports car in the neighboring lane. The BicipitalBeast snorted, jumped on a convertible, which shattered the windshield beneath his hooves, thrusting glass in the petrified faces of the passengers. People were starting to panic and get out of their cars and one car even came speeding towards him, he simply lifted it and tossed it on the scattering people. The BicipitalBeast stacked a van and two cars effortlessly out of his path and started off towards town.
The BicipitalBeast reached a town called Bristol and started rampaging down the street smashing windows and setting off car alarms. He came to a person on the sidewalk and he gored them right through their stomach. At first the screaming man stuck on his horns stunned him, but he shook him off and then became very pleased with the blood oozing between his two necks. He took the still screaming man in his hands and pulled him apart. The BicipitalBeast roared and hurtled the body parts through a shop window. The shop owner and the customers screamed in fright as the Bicipital Beast leapt through the window, splintering the boards beneath his feet, and grabbing a woman by the neck. Her neck made a sickening crunch as the BicipitalBeast’s iron grip crushed her vertebrae. Her stunned child rushed at the BicipitalBeast in a pathetic attempt to save his mother, he dropped the dead woman, grabbed him up by the leg and lowered the screaming child’s head into his larger mouth. As he crunched the small skull between his massive jaws, brains squished out the cracks. He spat the crushed head to the ground and pursued an older male. The remaining people in the store began throwing canned foods at him; he turned to look at the offenders, and the man he’d been chasing, grabbed a can off the floor and hit him hard on his larger temple with a can of pineapple. The larger head was knocked out, but the smaller head roared in fury.
One thing to know about the workings of a BicipitalBeast is that the larger head has a larger brain, and controls most of the beast itself, when the larger head was knocked out, it became impossible for the smaller head to control the entire body. This being so, the BicipitalBeast toppled over and the smaller head hit the corner of a shelf, thus, the smaller head was knocked out too.
The people in the store, being people, called the police. Who came very quickly with a crane, and started to chain up the beast and hook him to the crane. The crane had only just started rising as the BicipitalBeast awakened. It took a while for the BicipitalBeast to realize exactly what was happening, and when he did, he was high up in the air. He panicked, breaking the chains that hooked him to the crane. Unfortunately, like water, the BicipitalBeast isn’t built for the sky, and could not fly. He dropped. He dropped, like a rock. He dropped, like a rock, a rock with two heads. Fortunately, he landed on a cop car, which isn’t quite as awful as landing on the ground. The car was crushed like a glass petal beneath his tremendous weight, also killing the car’s passengers. He shook his heads and wobbled back onto his hooves. Police shot at him, but only managed to sever pieces of matted fur from the BicipitalBeast’s thick coat.
The BicipitalBeast continued through crowds of screaming citizens. The people crashed upon his dull horns as he threw them about; he crushed cars in his path with a mighty leap; he fought his way through hordes of angry people throwing rocks and trying their best to slow him down in every way imaginable. He pressed on, though the streets were teeming with more and more people, thickening like insects, until he came upon an endomorphic man.
The crowd pulsed and swarmed about his feet attacking with all their might, while the BicipitalBeast stood and stared at the round man before him. The man said something in the Norwegian tongue, “Jeg har hard av De, jeg tar De hjem”. The BicipitalBeast tucked the fat man under his arm and fled as fast as he could, trampling all in his path. Eventually, the crowds could not keep up with him, and they were on clear road. They reached the man’s home by the shores, further south than the BicipitalBeast’s arrival point.
Something you may not know about this rather round Norway native that the BicipitalBeast stumbled upon is that he is a fisherman. Another thing is that he owns a rather reliable fishing boat. In such a desperate situation the BicipitalBeast needed a way home to Oslo, Norway. The fisherman agreed to take the BicipitalBeast home, if he didn’t mind letting him move in. The BicipitalBeast was certain that Tabatha would gladly take in the kindly, large man in return for returning her only child home. Of course, there were complications. The fishing boat travels a steady 50-mph and the distance to Oslo from Bristol is about 5,267 miles, which should take about 4-5 days. Of course, this 4-5 days assumption is only possible in perfect weather, and the weather is not perfect in mid autumn. Another issue was acquiring enough supplies to sustain not only a fat man, but also a fat man and a BicipitalBeast for about a week and a half. Fortunately, although the BicipitalBeast is more than 3 times the size of an average person, he tends to eat about the same amount as one, but still drinks accordingly to his size.
It took the fisherman and the BicipitalBeast 2 days to load the fisherman’s belongings and sufficient food and water for the trip onto the fishing boat. And then they set out for Norway. The BicipitalBeast had first traveled to Rhode Island in a comfortable cabin on a ship, but now he was on a much smaller fishing boat with an average cabin, all of which seems awfully small for a BicipitalBeast. Another problem for the BicipitalBeast was that he had grown a bit afraid of the water, as he had an unpleasant encounter with drowning earlier. Among the many possessions the fisherman had brought along a large elegant orange at named Mirette. Mirette liked the BicipitalBeast and often times climbed atop the cabin in order to leap upon the BicipitalBeast’s shoulders. The BicipitalBeast did not mind the cat and played with her in order to keep from looking at the water.
It took a week to finally reach Norway. A week, sailing with salty sea leaping on deck. A week sailing with nothing to look at but endless ocean split from the sky like oil on water. A week sailing, with an aching nose from the thick, frozen air. A week sailing, with the odors of the fisherman and the BicipitalBeast worsening every day. A week sailing, with only stale bread, citrus fruits and fishes to eat. A week sailing, with the BicipitalBeast missing Tabatha every second of every inch traveled. Once at Norway, the fisherman sailed slowly down a canal all the way to the port of Oslo. Unfortunately, the port required pay to leave a ship in the dock, and the fisherman lacked any Norwegian krones, the currency of Norway, and couldn’t leave his ship. The BicipitalBeast leapt from the ship and called Tabatha at a payphone:
Hei?
Mor, Det er meg!
Å! Elskling! Er De godt?
Ja er mor, jeg fin.
Er De som komme hjem?
Mor, jeg er hjem, jeg er på hava av Oslo akkurat nå.
De er! Jeg kommer får De, hvordan gjorde De blir her, var Amerika type til De?
Jeg forteller De sen, foreløpig akkurat fører 50 krones til hava som jeg forklarer sen
Jeg er der i et par minutter, elskling.
And since you probably don’t speak Norwegian, here is the translation:
Hello?
Mother, It is me!
Oh! Darling! Are you well?
Yes mother, I am fine.
Are you coming home?
Mother, I am home, I am at the port of Oslo just now.
You are! I will come get you, how did you get here, was America kind to you?
I shall tell you later, for now just bring 50 krones to the port I will explain later.
I will be there in a few minutes, darling.
The BicipitalBeast returned to the fisherman and told him that Tabatha was on her way with money. The BicipitalBeast and the Fisherman waited patiently for Tabatha for five minutes, and waited impatiently for another five minutes before she actually arrived. The BicipitalBeast introduced the fisherman and Tabatha agreed to let him stay, as the BicipitalBeast had predicted, for returning her only child home. They decided to call for a mover to bring the fisherman’s possessions home in the morning, and that the BicipitalBeast, The fisherman, and Mirette really needed showers. The BicipitalBeast carried Tabatha, the fisherman, and Mirette home tucked under his large arms, and they continued living a normal, happy life. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| Gabriel and the Small Boy
one day a young boy named gabriel was feeling rather sad, for he was always made fun of because of his name, he desperately wanted attention, so he thought to himself, "I shall kill a small child, then i will be on television, and i will be noticed!", so gabriel set out to kill a small child. Apon his arrival to a school for young and small children, he found the perfect child, he was a very small child and he sat alone on the swing. Gabriel hoisted the child onto his shoulders and set off toward home.
Gabriel told the child his intentions, and the child was not the least bit frightened, but was very pleased and cooperative, and so Gabriel asked him, "what would be a prominant and intriguing way to kill you, small child?", the small child responded with, "I have allways been fond of scalping and demonic rituals and/or sacrafices, would that be of any particular intrest?", Gabriel clapped his hands and replied, "Ah, yes, small child, that is a very good method of murder indeed!".
The small child sat on a stool and happily awaited his murder, Gabriel patted him on the head with the flat side of a macchetti and said, " Small child, you have been a good help to me, thank you", and he promptly sliced off the small childs head.
Gabriel carefully removed the childs inner organs, and placed them in plastic baggies. Then he began carving symbols into the small childs face, which he imitated on his own face in the small childs blood. He scalped the small childs decapitated head and turned the scalp into a pillow. After he was all done cleaning up his mess and pouring the blood in a large tupperware bowl he draped the body in flowers, impaled the head on a stick, and poured the blood all over himself.
Once Gabriel was satisfied with his sacrifice, he pulled a long black shawl over his still blood covered body and pulled the staff of the small childs head under it with him, he stepped outside and walked to the mall.
Once Gabriel was in the mall he found the most crowded spot and removed his shawl, revealing the scalpless small shild staff and his body caked in dried blood, and pranced around untill security came. When security came he pulled the organs out of the plastic bags and threw the guts at them. When the security guards gathered up enough courage to grab him, he followed them willingly. He began to recite self made hymns to the "creators of this worldly ending domains of peace" and as he sang his hymns he gestured towards the gaurds escorting him and then repeatedly said, "kill and die, kill and die, kill and die".
Once they had Gabriel in the cop car he had already achieved his goal, to become noticed, so he broke away from the police and continued living his normal, happy life.
THE END | | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | Yeah Yeah Yeah's - Cold Light | | Time: | 06:24 pm | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/roshi/palefaces/happy.gif) chipper |
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| | Hey everyone! This is Tabatha's mother cleaning out her room! I have repainted and added handy decorations too. Tabatha, if you want to use your old picture, it is still in your account, I didn't delete it. I just thought this one was prettier. | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| spoken nor wept
once apon a battered fortune,
onw whoms name is unrevealed,
went strolling for no apparant reason,
came across a battle feild.
the soil's blackened far below,
and dust has risen to their nose.
A battle won, a battle lost,
an old bloodwrath, of it, not talked.
the grounds were old, the place was tired,
and of it noone speaks,
a war is done, a war is over,
and of loss not ever someone weeps.
Disputes, now settled,
lies, now stopped,
power has prevailed.
But the ground still aches,
and down below,
the earth is still at ail.
Nothing moves, and nothing grows,
of lies and fiction, nothing knows.
dreams, now shattered, dreams now broken,
noone stopped to think.
Everyones loss, but now,
of it noone ever speaks.
And as they trod both far and near,
they did not stop to think,
so it is to this same day,
of it noone ever weeps.
had dreams, protected, won, been right?
or had all truth been lost in fight?
Could it be right now way out there,
of the truth somebody speaks?
nobody ever asks those who know,
so of it noone ever speaks. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| Noose and Gallows
A crime committed, unforgiven,
You plead and beg, your pride reduced.
As you walk those rotten planks,
Those steps will be your last.
You try to take it like a man,
But you cry because today has gone by fast,
No tomorrow, only now,
These steps are now your last,
The boards are hard but they will fall,
These steps remain your last,
An act of defiance, you want to make,
But before the deed has been done,
The second is by far too late,
Air fills the once solid ground,
You feel, but no supports around,
A sharp tug and your'e by your neck,
Your face is turning blue,
You close your eyes, you cannot breathe,
The skys turn deep blood red,
Darkness now envelops you,
You listen, but nothing has been said,
It dawns on you and much too fast,
Those steps had been your last,
Your rotting corpse now looms above,
And ominously says with dread,
" If you choose a path like mine,
Those steps will be your last." | | comments: Leave a comment |
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